I've been working a lot lately with the Osho Zen Tarot. It's a beautiful deck, richly illustrated, and a nice blend of traditional and esoteric.
More importantly, I think my spirit guides prefer this deck to my others. I recently had a breakthrough in connecting with them, and I now frequently am overcome by the urge to get out the OZ deck and see what it is they need to say to me.
Today I've been very worried about our finances. We are trying to sell a house, and it is not going well. The strain of carrying two mortgages is something that we can only continue for a few months, despite how well we've been doing at thriving in crisis mode. In a moment of anguish, I begged my spirit guides to help relieve us of the burden of the house-that-will-not-sell, apologizing for bringing it up to them a second time (I feel like to bug them over and over about the same issue is tantamount to telling them that I don't trust them to help me, but today I was a bit desperate).
Less than an hour later I walked past the drawer where I keep my tarot decks. It was cracked open, and the urge to get out my Osho Zen deck overcame me. I tried to walk past, as I was headed back into the kitchen to eat my lunch, but something literally stopped me in my tracks and pulled me back to my reading desk. The spirits had something to say:
Queen of Water: Receptivity. This card has appeared in every draw I've done since breaking through to my spirit guides. She corresponds to the Queen of Cups, and represents the passive fulfillment of the emotional realm. She is me, and the indigo lotus that usually rests between her brows has expanded to cover her entire head, signifying that I am open to my spirit guides and ready to receive their counsel. The Queen of Water is also trusting, she grasps at nothing. This is a reminder to let go, to fling my arms skyward as she is doing and take comfort in knowing that, as I am doing what I can on this plane to secure my needs, my guides are doing what they can in their way.
Awareness. This Major Arcana card tells of the tearing of the veil that separates us from our true selves, our true potential. The fire that burns away illusion is cool and blue, and though the shadow-person gestures in fear, the true essence is calm and serene, unhurt by the transformation. Yes, I'm freaking scared. On the illusory surface, it seems like we're never going to sell this house. But when we do, this card leads me to believe that we will be none the worse the wear for it. This comforts me, as I have worried that we might sustain financial damage that extends beyond the sale of the house.
King of Water: Healing. This card corresponds to the King of Cups, the active fulfillment of the emotional realm. To be the King means to be in control of one's emotions, and to actively embody compassion, love, and generosity. But an outside force is acting on the King. Two ethereal hands are applying healing energy to his sixth, seventh, and navel chakras; his heart chakra warmly glows. The King is receiving a Reiki healing, which is capable of healing and dissolving old emotional wounds. What does this have to do with selling a house? Well, it brings up some difficult issues from my past, regarding my parents, who did not raise me because they were financially and emotionally irresponsible. I was grateful for those who raised me, but I hurt a great deal as a child because I just wanted to be with my mom and dad. As I grew, I watched them as they were rescued from difficulty after difficulty (several involving houses), and I always wondered why no one ever just let them find their own way out of hot water. It would have been much better for them. Now I'm in my own hot water, or at least a situation that I'd very much like to be quit of. And today, before doing this reading, I decided that I don't want to ask for financial help because this could really be the lesson that makes or breaks me at this point in my adulthood. The spirits understand this, and are assuring me that this experience will make me stronger on an emotional level.
Knight of Rainbows: Slowing Down. The only card in this entire draw that corresponds to the physical realm, he is related to the Knight of Disks, the unpredictable part of Earth. And wouldn't you know it, it's a slow-moving animal carrying his house on his back. Just like us! My spirit guides are telling me that now is not the time to change directions (in my panic today, I urged my husband to get a renter back in the house so we don't go broke), nor to try to move faster than the situation allows.
Conditioning. I'll admit it. This one threw me for a loop. This card corresponds to Strength in other decks, but has a completely different meaning in the Osho Zen deck. It reveals to us that we have in some way come to see ourselves as something we are not, and that we must throw off what makes us part of the crowd so that we can be true to our individual nature. But again, what does that have to do with selling a house? The position this card occupies in the spread is the point around which the other cards revolve, and is sometimes indicative of the root of the problem. Perhaps my guides are gently hinting to me that my emotional stress regarding the house is being exacerbated by other emotional issues (I've been feeling rather trapped lately, which is clearly echoed in the bindings on the lion's feet; the ropes not only secure the sheepskin to the lion's back, they also prohibit him from moving).
Change. I love this card, even when it heralds an uncomfortable life shift. As the Knight of Rainbows was cautioning me to relax and take it slow in the physical realm I inhabit, this card is telling me that the change I seek is happening on its own in a larger fashion, outside my perception and according to its own timeline. This card corresponds to the Wheel of Fortune in other decks, and I'd like to see this as a harbinger of good news, especially when compared to the reassuring nature of the rest of the spread.
Existence. Unlike many decks, whose first Major Arcana card deals with a primal magician, shaman, or some other figure who has learned to actively master the elements, Existence addresses our place in the universe. This card reminds us that home is within, not without. The figure seated in the lotus is supported from below and blessed from above. She has no worry about her rightness in the cosmos, nor her security. In the final position of this spread, my guides are telling me that I am taken care of.
Overall I was very comforted by this spread. That my guides had taken the time to initiate contact with me in order to express these calming, supportive reassurances had a dramatic effect on my outlook and my energy levels for the rest of the day. It was also interesting to note that the spread's general tone was emotional, and not material (my fears vs. the actual selling of the house). I think the universe really just wants me to calm down and not fret myself into a premature grave while it responds to my request for help.
